Note before you begin reading: This syndrome or complex has many other names. Like “I-don’t-know-WTH-I-am-doing” syndrome. But let’s keep it PG (at least PG13+) shall we….although I highly doubt any 13-year-old’s would even get what I’m rambling about, heck I’m not even sure my target audience (20-30s+) will get what I’m talking about…anywhos Enjoy 😛
Is it just me or am I suffering from the “I-dont-know-what-I-am-doing” syndrome, which could even be extended to “-and-where-I-am-going-as-well” effect as well. Of course, that doesn’t mean you don’t know what you “should” be doing or what you think you should be doing either. I’m sure most of you have some sort of rough idea of what you want or where you’re going. I guess my problem is I know what I want and I know what steps to take but then life steps in and yeah it gets all kinds of complicated from there. But do you actually know the name of the destination or route to be taken? Correct me if I am wrong, this syndrome isn’t just something we experience in our 20s, oh no, it also extends to your 30s even, and don’t even tell me it affects you in your 40s because if that’s the case, than I am not looking forward to the next 20 or so years of my life, well not as much anyway haha. Mind you, this whole “I-don’t-know-what-I-am-doing” thing can be pretty fun. It can be exciting. You learn so much about yourself and what you are capable of and what you’re not so capable of. I know I’m only in my early 20s, so it’s normal for me being a bit confused right? a little…you know…overwhelmed at times right? Right! But wait, I’ve made some really great friends who are in their 30s, or just sort of getting there…they don’t acknowledge nor accept, that they have indeed passed their quarter-life traumas. But wait, it’s just getting started.
This isn’t a complain fest nor is it a plea for help, it’s really just a lot of pondering really. Rather a question to all of you, does it get any easier? Of course, this journey that we call life, isn’t always easy, nor should it be. It should be challenging and interesting, and well nothing easy was ever described by those two words right? Well, I’ve never described the word ‘easy’ with those two words anyway.
Back to the point, or the question that this post has been written to present and sort of get you thinking. Will we ever really know if we’re on the right track? And if you’re in your mid-20s or already quite used to the fact that you are NO longer a teenager – meaning going out and partying like you’re 18 doesn’t feel as good as it used to – do you still fill that floundering sense of “Oh my gosh, I am so confused!”. This confusion can be attributed to one part or all parts of your life; your relationships – “Is he/she the one?”, your career – “Is this the job for me? Do I even like my job?” and so on, and so on – some questions that we feel, at the time as decisions for the rest of our lives (or big chunks of it anyway). It can really occur in your life at any time. This life ‘confusion’ or whatever it is, really isn’t limited to any age. We all sort of mature, and find the things we want out of life at different times. That’s okay. But the question still stands – Is it going to get easier? Or more understandable at least? Am I actually going to get what I want out of life or am I just fighting something that doesn’t really exist? Is this confusion just a minor glitch in usually a controlled yet exciting life? Or could this all be brought on by our own minds because other people talk about their own confusions in life, and this confuses us and only leads to you-know-what, you guessed it, a whole lot of confusion. Could it be that some people are also just trying to mess with our heads? Warning us about sometimes highly doubtful, if not realistic fears of ours that could become a reality? And if so, are these people getting the better of us? They’re trying to knock you down, second guess yourself because they want the job you want or the boyfriend you have…or whatever, sometimes they might just be so unhappy themselves that they just want you to be as confused as they are – one huge pity fest. Or not. They could also be warning you because they’ve been through it – they know, they survived! lol Ok, so I am digressing a bit here, but I have a point that links all these ideas I promise!
So with all these fears of not really know what you’re doing, plus other people telling you or even pressuring you to get your act together because if not…well you’re just stuffed then aren’t you?, will we younglings (whether we be in our early 20s or even late 30s – you’re still young!) does it get easier? That’s what I’m talking about! I think I’ve asked this too many times now. Are we ever really sure or content? And I don’t mean do we have every materialistic thing or emotional victory that we crave for. I mean will we be happy as we are in the moment and not worry about the past or the present and definitely not worry about the future because it hasn’t happened yet.
I’m 23 this year, and yes, I am in the early stage of my twenties. But I am already seeing the signs that life or rather some people in my life, have (maybe unintentionally) got me in a tail spin. I feel pressures from everywhere and I’ve read about this quarter-life crisis, but I’ve also heard of the mid-life crisis – so could life rather be, a crisis itself? But no, that’s negative talk and I refuse to look at life like a crisis. It is a gift! A beautiful journey where we may or may not be reincarnated to come back and learn new lessons – that’s if you believe in reincarnation, I’m not really sure but this isn’t about my beliefs in God or religion or anything – this is about life!
I’m not really sure what I’m getting at here, but I’m sure you have some idea of what I’m talking about right? It’s all about not knowing I guess, and is it really so bad not knowing? It’s good to stay positive, let life take you where it needs to go, learn along the way and just try not to make so many silly mistakes along the way. But making mistakes can also be a good thing – sometimes we think we’re making a mistake when actually we’re making the best decision of our lives! – like quitting that job you hate even though you’ve been there for like 10 years and could get a promotion anytime soon, it’s not failure! because like they say when one door closes…how does the saying go? another one slams in your face…nah I’m just kidding another one should open, and it might not look like an opening but it is so take it!
So what do you think? I’d really like to hear from what YOU think and your perspective. Is life a crisis or a gift? Is it more just on your perspective (way of looking at life) and not taking perceived setbacks too close to heart? Ok, so one more thing…I just thought about it really. Even when you’re in your 30s (or in your 20s if you became a young mother) mothers have questions too! Confusing ones too. Like am I really ready? well you’ll have to be because that baby lying in your arms right now needs a mother. Or am I good for my baby? like I said before, you’re going to have to be good enough or you know try you best, you will LEARN along the way, that’s how everyone else does too. Because that’s all we can do right – stop being confused and start just living! Just BE! Everything will work out right? Like there are so many older people out there who were just like us before, in our shoes like they say, they also had no idea what they were doing, but they took a chance, they grasped life by the hand and said “Hi life, how you doing? I know you’re going to play around with me sometimes (I was going to use a swear word here but I decided not too), but that’s ok, just let us live together and hopefully don’t let me hurt too much or pay too much for some things I do because I really don’t know what I’m doing” and like that we get a little more confident, we take the horns or the handles, or whatever it is they say, and we just go with it. We live life to the best of our ability. There will be hard times, no one’s guaranteeing an easy ride. Oh it will get bumpy all right, sometimes we might even want everything to stop. But we can’t do that! Because we are so lucky to be alive, to be healthy (or as healthy as we are anyway coz there’s always someone worse or you know with less fortunate circumstances) so be positive! Do your best! And yeah, hit me with some love and leave a comment below with what you think! I always love to read other peoples thoughts and ideas but keep it positive and don’t be too rude or offensive because everyone is different and every LIFE is different. Keep judgements to yourself, but opinions of how it affects you, yeah sure, share that!
Okies this has already gotten much longer than I had intended and probably alot LESS coherent than I had imagined while writing it. Oh well, that’s me – one big ball of thoughts. Biyee, thanks, oh and good luck, I think we’re all going to need it! xoxo Lari