For the past couple of days I’ve been contemplating our upcoming wedding and about our wedding vows. We’ve agreed that we want to make our own to make it more personal and meaningful, and I am excited to share with my hubby-to-be and all our friends and family how much I love him. But at the same time I am nervous. This is so important to me. How can I convey how I feel and promise to be the best I can be. What words should I choose? Well if you’re like me, and are thinking of writing your vows I hope these ideas that I’ve researched will help you out. I won’t write mine down til after the wedding otherwise that would give it away to my hubby! hehe
First, you need to decide the tone and theme of your vows, is it going to be witty? tear-jerking? a bit of both? humorous and touching? Poetic and super mushy? Personally I’d like to get a good mix of all of the above, I’d love see him smile, pensive, laugh and cry all in just a few words.
Next, brainstorm to write a brief outline of what you’d like to say. Pick a few super memorable moments between the two of you to bring up, have you been some momentous times together, how did you triumph them together? Can you think of a funny or touching experience that put your partner in a new light? Perhaps go even back to the start, how you met, did you know that you were the ones for each other? was it the opposite, have you proved that opposites do attract? Think along these lines, when we first me at….I thought…or this happened…or I knew…How long did it take you to realise you were in love? Was there a specific moment that you just thought oh my gosh he has to be the one…like when he playing with your nieces and nephews or cooking dinner at home for the two of you. What do you have now that you didn’t have before? Not materially but in life generally. Has he changed your view of the world, taught you meaningful lessons that has help nurture your soul? How about what you most miss about each other when you’re apart, do you have any habits you do while you are away from each other because you miss each other so much? Do you share mutual interests like favorite movies, songs, hobbies etc.? I’ve been to weddings where couples chose their favorite lines from songs and movies and it was really cute.
Now, try to logically string all or parts of what you have written and try looking at some example vows online or reading the traditional vows available at your local church. These examples will help mold your vows.
After this, I think I will go even deeper from the light stuff and get into the nitty gritty of this marriage that we are committing to for life. What are our goals for the future, how will you grow and change together? Do you have any promises for eachother, try to steer from the ever “I promise to have everlasting love” but more personal promises like “I promise to always get the mail in the morning and let you sleep in when you’re on late shifts” or something like that…Try think also of why you are entering the bond of marriage. Why is marrying your fiance so special? This will inspire you to write some beautiful words. What does marriage mean to you? With your fiance, what is possible? and finally, what is that you expect from married life? these expectations will help you make and keep these vows. I believe life dreams are so importantwill you vow to help make them come true?
You will probably have alot of ideas written down now like me. Now, don’t be overwhelmed this is great. Like before, shuffle your ideas into as logically ordered as possible. From here you can do some editing and cutting or ‘weeding’ as I call it. Put it all together, and check that these vows resonate with you and are vows you believe you can keep and wish to keep.
After first drafts you can always go back and add or remove parts to your vows, so it’s nice to get a head start on writing them and not saving to write it the day before if not on the day! But if you feel very confident, it’s always beautiful to speak from the heart, hopefully you don’t miss out anything integral that you would have loved to share.
From there on it’s practice time! Here’s to wishing the very best luck for your weddings and delivering your vows (and mine too! hehe)
For some more examples and tips take a look at these links below: